Eggs - They do a Body Good. Er, wait.

Eggs. My, do we have eggs. We're getting upwards of 4 dozen per day. That's a lot of eggs. YOU try to push 4 dozen eggs on folks every day. It's getting to where people avert their eyes when they see me coming with my cooler strapped to my back. But I have my strategy... "Your first fix dozen is free." Next thing, they'll be jones'n for more. You wait.

Every day we venture to the farm, don our sh*t-kickers, and head into the trenches barn. The hens brrrrrAWK-awk-awk-awk-awk at us as we enter, some scurrying away, other ambling toward us in curiosity. Or in high hopes for stinky compost bucket goodies.

Something else scurried the other night, too. My dog went NUTS and about tore through a wall trying to get whatever it was. The boys followed her nose and, peering with flashlight under a ledge, said, "Hey, there's a little hole there!" I told them to shush and get back to work as uncontrollable shudders ran up and down my spine. I'll collect eggs. I'll water horses. I'll toss in hay for cows. Hell I'll even drag a dead cow to the side of the road if I have to. I draw the line at rats.
My evening routine now includes washing eggs to sell. I line up the full cartons and grab some damp cloths and wipe down each egg, making sure to discard the ones with cracks. I don't mind the chore, and I get a kick out of the different colors and sizes of eggs.

In other news, Laura really needs a life.

I took pictures of the eggs the other night so I could share with you the array of sizes and colors.

Did it just get really, uncomfortably quiet in here or is it just me? You still there? Hello?... hello... hello...

For perspective, I placed each egg next to my thumb ring. Yes, I said thumb ring. Remember - I'm not a farmer, I'm a poser.
There are smallish brown eggs. And larger brown eggs. Brown eggs come from the breed that lays brown eggs.

There are also white eggs. From the breed that lays white eggs.

And the prettiest light-green eggs. From the breed that ate too much grass. *burp*

Do chickens eat grass? Do they burp? I must know.

There are also these "Oooh Ahhh" eggs. These big eggs are called "Oooh Ahhh" eggs, according to my sweet, prim grandmother, because when the hen is pushing the egg out she says "Oooooooh" and once the egg is out she says, "Ahhhhhhh." My grandma, she's a stinker. And that isn't the half of it.

There are even these pretty speckled eggs.

And here they are all lined up so you can really see the range in size, seeing as my thumb ring perspective didn't give any - how do you say it? - perspective.

Eggs. They do a Body Good. I know that's not their slogan, but I'm breaking the mold.

I'm a farmer with a thumb ring.