Well, Hello There

Hello all you new readers. Um, where did y'all come from? Oh that's right, my blog was listed in the latest statewide H.O.U.S.E. newsletter, wasn't it. I forgot all about that since it seems like ages ago that Pamela asked if she could use my blog to jumpstart that section. I haven't written much lately, so I kinda cringed about being listed. Sending folks to a quiet blog probably isn't the best way to generate excitement.

But I've written lots in the past about unschooling. Check the sidebar for category LABELS such as 'Unschooling Q&A' or 'An Unschooler Goes to School' about Brady's year of private college-preparatory high school after eight years of radically unschooling, or if you're in the mood to laugh check out 'Cornfield Country' or 'Family Farm.' And if you want to know why this isn't a food blog, check out 'Why I'm Not a Food Blogger.'

And now, because you're likely here because you're an IL homeschooler, be sure to check out my one post about last year's InHome Conference - it's not comprehensive by any means, nor a review, nor a plug as publicity chair (bad publicity chair! Bad!). It's a bunch of goofy pictures of us having a good old time. Be sure to pop on over to the InHome site and register - it's always fun fun FUN! I was in charge of workshops for kids ages 10 and up, so I've been very involved this year and it's going to be a great year. John Taylor Gatto is coming! If you go, if you see me, say hi or introduce yourself. I'm a Chatty Patty and love to meet new peeps.

For now, I'm at the UWWG, where I'm scheduled to speak tomorrow on 'Seasoned Unschoolers' (wait - does that just mean I'm OLD?) and Thursday on 'An Unschooler Goes to School.' We're having a grand old time.

Coffee calls. And Gatto. And waterslides. And more chatting. Woot!

You Should Hire Me

I can't believe I just said that.

I have the most difficult time putting myself out there. I know that's hard to believe, what with my posting unflattering pictures of myself on my blog, having a facebook page, and telling you more than you ever wanted to know about life in these here cornfields, but it's true.

I am an idea grrrl. But I'm not a follow-through-on-my-ideas kind of grrrl. I have a vision. In fact, I have several visions. I have new visions all the time. But I don't necessarily do anything about it.

At a recent workshop on raising entrepreneurial children, the presenter said, "Entrepreneurs go past the idea stage. They not only have a vision, they act on their visions."

Well, shucks.

I've come up with all sorts of ideas, grand schemes, life plans. Some are huge and somewhat unrealistic - living in a cooperative community, opening a creative playspace museum for children - but others are smallish and entirely conceivable should I just get to work - hosting round-table discussions in my home, hosting 'Fridays in the Field' field trips for homeschoolers, speaking on unschooling.

(I even name my fictional adventures. Those round-table discussions in my home? "Cornfield Conversations" How fun is that?)

I just have trouble believing in my own 'credentials.' In true codependent form, I am my own worst critic. But where most successful people simply adapt their strategy when they fail, rather than quit or get derailed, I talk myself out of things before I ever get started.

It's not always true. There are plenty of things I do and accomplish. What I get hung up on, though, are those things that involve really putting myself out there, really marketing myself. I can do the occasional class for homeschoolers, tutor the occasional student, direct the occasional play, arrange the occasional PR for an event; but tossing my name into the hat for new things - big new things - intimidates me.

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I like entering through the back door. I like it when my debut occurs organically, by happenstance, or accidentally. Once I'm in, once I've accomplished something, once I've established I can do a thing, then I'm comfortable. In the end I even find myself more brazen then ever, buoyed by my own dumb luck. Next thing you know, I go from saying I'll serve cookies at an event to running the operation the following year. I love that.

And that's how it happened that I'm speaking at next year's

Unschoolers Winter Waterpark Gathering in Ohio.

Before attending this year's event, I waited until the last minute to submit a proposal for a roundtable discussion. Naturally, the slots were filled. But it so happened that I know Debra through our blogs, and when she heard I was coming she invited me to join her panel and share my story for their "Redesigning Education" workshop. It went very well and I enjoyed it very much.

Later that evening, the UWWG organizer, Carol Reinhard said she heard good things about our talk and yesterday, I got my official invitation to speak at next year's event!

And it all happened without my having to put myself out there; without having to say, "Hire me: I'm a speaker."

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I'm still irritated with myself, though. I'd like to get over my insecurities, get past my fears, and take more initiative to do some of the big things I long to do. Perhaps that means I need to pick the brains of those who do these things. Perhaps that means I need to brush up on marketing skills. Perhaps that means I need to commit myself to my vision on a regular basis. Perhaps that means doing for myself what I urge others to do - treat myself gently and believe in my own gifts. And if definitely means I need to quit prioritizing sweeping the floor over writing another article to submit to homeschooling magazines.

I sold another small article this week. Occasionally I submit freelance articles to a middle-man organization called Constant Content. It's a site that sells your content to buyers seeking articles for their publications, newsletters, and blogs. Constant Content gets a cut, of course, and you don't get a byline (essentially, you're a ghostwriter) but it's been a good way to get my feet wet; see if I'm publishable. Today I received notice that I sold usage rights to an article I wrote some time ago; one that I thought was destined to languish on the site forever. A fun surprise!

These small accomplishments revive my enthusiasm for big dreams and visions. Maybe I really am a writer. Maybe I really can be a speaker.

Today, I grabbed my notebook and gathered all the workshop ideas I've been jotting down for many months. They were scattered and disconnected ideas, penned while I was driving and had an "aha" moment, or inspired by the words of another speaker, or revealed as I answered the questions of a new and worried unschooler. I compiled the ideas into workshops. I even wrote the descriptions.

Too many times I'd think,"I want to speak too" only to have that thought followed by, "But on what topic?" Unschooling is an obvious choice, sure, but even that needed to be fleshed out a bit.

Now I am one giant step closer to putting myself out there. Have topics - will speak.

Sharing this with you on my blog is giant step #2.

I'll work on the other obstacles another day.

Mendhi in the Making

Not What it Looks Like

Not heroin...Henna.

Let the Mendhi Begin

We are at the UWWG in Ohio and several of us have become absolutely obsessed with doing mendhi. By the looks of this picture, I should be putting henna in my hair. Holy gray.

Stay tuned.... there is more to come. BELIEVE me. :)