You Can Kiss my Grass

Been feeling a bit sluggish, a bit off since my return from Florida. It didn't help that I returned to 40-degree, rainy weather after enjoying 80-degree sunny days down south. I also returned to find my lovely new wood floors but also a fine layer of sawdust over every square inch of my house - which translated into 14 hours of cleaning the first day back. And I always have trouble transitioning anyway.

And my right ear is plugged up. Just like last year.

But today it was delightfully warm - if a bit windy (and by windy I mean 'blow the furniture off the deck') - so I forced myself to get up and outside for a spell. Turns out I found some energy within and prepped a whole new garden. I've been visualizing a circular herb garden for some time so today, I made one.

Even though we're die-hard organic here, I admit it's a bit daunting to find weeds about to bloom - BLOOM! - in a garden in which I haven't even set foot yet this season. And with the winds we get, and the weed seeds we alone create on these here 5 acres, well - let's just say it's a constant battle to find the food among the sea of weeds.

Perhaps we should start a dandelion farm. Wait, we already have. Perhaps we should market ourselves as proprietors of organic dandelion greens. We could hang a shingle and run a "pick your own" biz. Hmm - something to consider.

Jonathan helps keep things in perspective by reminding me that dandelions are his favorite flower. No one can argue that when an entire swath of yard is in full bloom... it sure is pretty. It's the spindly, grow-an-inch-every-minute seed stalks that are less than appealing.

Good thing we don't live in the burbs.

I had my laptop on the kitchen counter today so it was handy for research as I prepped my herb garden bed. Turns out - and I've discovered this by accident - letting the grass grow long in the spring helps prevent the spread of crab grass and dandelions by shading them out. It looks a bit unruly, but then so does a yard full of weeds. As I researched the steps of permaculture and sought non-chemical solutions to some other dilemmas (don't ever - EVER - plant spearmint in your garden. EVER. Seriously. E-VER) I also found some delightful websites on all manner of sustainable living tips. I have quite the ambitious list of projects jotted on scratch paper, 95% of which will never come to fruition - but a grrrl can dream ambitious.

We used to have a sign in our lawn that read "You Can Kiss Our Grass - This lawn is chemical-free!" I loved that sign.

It got taken out by the wind.

I'm still sluggish, and my ear is still plugged - and achy, now that I think about it - but it felt oh-so-good to toil over clumps of sod again today.

And remember, if you ever come visit - you can kiss my grass.

Scenes from another Fantastic Florida Trip

Tomorrow is our last day in Florida. *sniff* Here's a peek at our vacation so far...
Lots of pool time - Jonathan is a fish.

Chatting up my new soon-to-be step-sister.

Not sure if it's the game or the size of the game pieces that's so frustrating.

Easter egg hunt.

Look familiar?

Visiting with cousins.

And reuniting with old friends.

Stone crab for a snack.

And a meet-up with Hulk Hogan. Yo, Hulk.

Jonathan loved seeing the Blues Brothers since he did a spoof of their routine for a play last year. (Wait - is that Broc Higgins?)

Rob is now on staff at Universal Studios.

Reunited with Keti - I miss her already.

Wonderworks with Keti and kids - rainy day substitution for Universal Studios Adventure park.

The kids hit it off famously. So glad!

Beach time. Boys surf. I seek shells.

I'm not going back to the cornfields.
Even my feet are happy here.
Baywatch?
Building sand castles.
All is well. Life is very good indeed.

It Can't Be

It just can't be. It doesn't seem possible that here we are, in Florida, reunited 23 years after we hung out. 23 years. That's a long d*mn time. That's "don't ever say that again" long, according to Sarah, who comes to our Brady Bunch from "Mike's" side.

This is my cousin Heather, whose life took a radically different turn from mine, considering she's a Capital One bigwig making lots of money and I'm, well, a stay-at-home unschooling mom making no money. Same roots, same cornfields, same experiences, wildly different outcomes. Fun, huh?

And that's Kasumi. Kasumi was the Japanese exchange student who stayed with Heather's family when Heather and I were high school sophomores. Kasumi was - and is - a hoot and a half and my memories are filled with all kinds of crazy stories like the time she told me on a ski trip that she was going to kick my *ss if I wasn't quiet so she could get to sleep. Naturally I egged her on, mostly because it was just so darn funny to hear her say, "I mean it, Lorla - I'm going to keek your ahss" over and over in her heavy Japanese accent. Or the time she insisted that scratching off the tops of my mosquito bites would make them stop itching and I actually let her do it and then walked around for 3 days with little bloody wounds that, now that I think about it, didn't itch anymore but looked like hell. Or the time we all went to a lake in northern Wisconsin on vacation together and Heather and I went to bed to find that Kasumi had decorated our pillows by propping them up on end, dressing them in our bras and panties, and placing tampons and maxi pads in various places.

I have many many more stories about Heather as well - hilarious, obnoxious, blackmail-ish stories that I won't tell lest word get out in the corporate world. Let's just say Heather can be loud. And sometimes barked out car windows. That's all I'm gonna say.

It was great fun to catch up today and catch up on each other's lives.

And now back to my favorite Florida activity: holding down that lawn chair.

Tomorrow, I might get a little crazy and hold down a pool raft.

Posting from Florida

As much as I'd love to write a new blog post, tell y'all what I'm up to, share some great Florida vacation stories, I just can't.

I'm too busy holding down a lawn chair.

Tweet!

Lookie who has a Twitter account. Because I just don't spend enough time, between Facebook and my blog, sharing pointless tidbits with you. Updates in my sidebar over there -->

So, anyone know how to use it? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Will be posting on our road trip to Florida. With this bunch, there are sure to be some newsworthy antics.

Commence Brady Bunch Experiment Part I

We're heading to Florida tomorrow to join up with my mom and her main squeeze betrothed. Mom rented the same house as last year and we're driving down to spend a week.

My (single, silly - but in a good way!) brother will be there.

So will my mom's fiance's daughter Sarah.

The others are staying far far away from this crazy experiment busy.

Looks like we'll be taking this Brady Bunch thing one future-step-sibling at a time. Sarah - you ready to jump into the new-family petri dish?

Sarah's bringing my kids' favorite snacks and sending football smack talk to Jonathan via Facebook. She's prepared.

Me? I'm listing all the things I should apologize for up front. Cohabitation is a risky business.

I Don't Have Time for This

I'm a busy woman. I've got children to tend, laundry to start, and a mile-long to-do list growing exponentially by the minute. I've got farm chores to do, three wet dogs to contain, and doggie drugs to dispense. I've got packing to do for our trip to Florida (waHOO) and wood flooring to order and furniture to move so the installer can do our floors while we're gone (waHOO). I've got a meeting to prepare for and farmers to pick up in Chicago (waHOO) and buckets of homemade chicken vegetable and wild rice soup to finish so said farmers don't arrive home to a cold house and empty refrigerator.

(You want to make someone's day? Jump to the top of their friend list? Earn yourself some serious karma points? Have a hot meal waiting for them when they arrive home from a trip. They'll be so grateful. They might even cry. And they'll be forever indebted to you - and it's always good to have one-up on someone.)

So I'm busy, right? Which means I definitely don't have time to do a craft project. It's Sunday morning and all I wanted to do was check a few blogs, sip on some coffee, enjoy a few quiet moments before the inevitable rush of activity begins and goes non-stop through Friday. That's not too much to ask, is it? But noooo... I had to go looking at The Magic Onions blog, where she has this posted.

Drat that Magic Onions grrrl... here I am, fixin' to relax for just a few minutes before I start my day, and next thing you know she's got me making paper stars. Paper stars! ME. Crafting.
That must be some powerful magic onions mojo she's got going on, because those who know me best? They know that crafts and me go together like single men and babies. There's sort of this moment of pause where you're all "maybe this wouldn't be so bad....maybe I could do this too...." followed by a shudder and a rush of excuses and a full-out sprint in the other direction.

Magic Onions has this sweet little write-up in her sidebar, part of which goes like this: "I am consciously trying to be mindful of each and every moment; embrace life with love, laughter and learning and give freely knowing that what I have is considerable."

Might I suggest you add "And distract piscesgrrl from her to-do list?"

I even had to run downstairs to get glue so I could make paper stars. While I was down there, I fed the dogs, doled out doggie drugs, fetched soup kettles - full soup kettles - out of my van, and made eggs (what else?) for breakfast.

Then I sneaked back upstairs to finish my paper stars.

I didn't use fancy paper because I didn't trust myself to actually succeed at this endeavor on the first try.

I used plain old printer paper. If they turn out, I might feel brave enough to use some of that pretty scrapbooking paper I have stored away somewhere. The paper that I bought for the scrapbook I never work on. Or perhaps I'll even feel brave enough to dig out my watercolor paints or acrylics and decorate some paper myself. I mean, who cares about a silly old to-do list.

I'm the sort of person who owns all sorts of art and craft supplies. And has no clue what to do with them.

I have the urge to yell, "Mom! Look what I did!" How sad is that?

"MOM! LOOK WHAT I DID!"

Life's so much better when we just give in to our urges, isn't it?

Dear Magic Onions,
When my house comes crumbling down around me in chaos and mayhem, I'm blaming you.

Love,

Piscesgrrl

It's That Time of Year Again

It's almost time for our 2nd annual trip to Florida, where we'll join up with my mom WHO IS LIVING IN SIN WITH HER FIANCE. (Not that I mind or anything.)So you know what that means... IT MEANS MY MOM IS NAUGHTY. Er, wait. What it means is it's also time for....Jonathan's annual hair cut.

It's been a while since we've gotten a good look at that face.
The shock will wear off in a few days. It always does.

Farm Chores

While my mom is in Florida LIVING IN SIN WITH HER FIANCE - (Ahem) - and my sister and family are in Panama visiting relatives, I've been left in charge of two homesteads, two dogs, and a FARM.


Now let me ask you a question....


Do I look like someone who should be left in charge of two homesteads, two dogs, and a FARM?


I didn't think so.


Nevertheless, my entire family saw fit to jet off and leave us here, in charge. My sister left us a loooong list of farm instructions and gave me a tour of the place to be sure I knew which end was up.

I had to learn how to turn off the dryer on the grain bin if it rained really hard. (Please don't tell my sister it rained really hard and I forgot to turn off the dryer on the grain bin.)

I learned that if you leave the hose in the water tank, it'll siphon it all off overnight. (We tested this theory. It's true.)

I was instructed to feed the cats in the garage. (Um, there are no cats in the garage.)

The chore list goes on and on, but really, there ain't nothing to do. There are eggs to collect, hens to let out and shut in, and water tanks to fill. Bales of hay need to be placed every few days and the mineral feeder needs filling on occasion. Crack the ice if the water gets frozen. Don't let the goats get into the chicken coop or they'll eat all the feed. Sell the surplus eggs.

Pshaw, this farmin' stuff's easy, man.

But then I read the instructions a little closer....

"SICK COW:
*The mother cow with the swollen jawbone is getting skinny. She may die."

I'm sorry... did you say die? Did that just say "She may die?" Die as in dead-carcass-in-the-pasture die?

Oh.

And there's where it gets interesting. In order for the rendering service to handle the carcass, we need to....

"drag her to the side of the road with the tractor and a chain and have the rendering company come and get her."

Oh.

That's going to be fun. And it gets better. The rendering company... well, they're interesting folks. You can imagine you'd have to be a little off yer rocker to want to operate such a business, so they have some strange requirements. You see, they don't want to deal with us any more than we want to deal with them. Hence, the following instructions:

"You'll need to leave the money (cash only) in a coffee can or jar for the driver."

You read that right. We're supposed to put cash in an empty coffee can and leave it next to the carcass. On the side of the road.

Wow.

And now that I've just spilled the beans on a little farm secret, don't y'all go scouring the countryside for ditch-side dead animals just so you can steal a little cash, y'hear?

As for me, I've gotta run. Gotta get my sh*t-kickers on and do some farm chores. And go whisper sweet nothing's in mama cow's ear... Sweet nothing's along the lines of "Please don't die Mama Cow. Please... PLEASE don't die Mama Cow."

Feel a little of the old Smack-Talk Comin' On

BADGERS WIN! Eat it, Florida State!

Sorry. Just a little excited.

Trail of Tears. Tears of Laughter, that is

I have a nifty little widget on my blog that tells me where my readers come from. Wait, that's not proper. Let's try again. I have a nifty little widget on my blog that tells me from where my readers come. Sounds stilted, yes, but it's proper. Less proper than 'from whence they come', but proper. You should practice proper grammar. And by you, I mean I.

Anyhoo, I don't pay much attention to the little widget, but on occasion something catches my eye and I hone in for a closer look. For example, one time I noticed people kept coming straight from Sandra Dodd's website to mine. So I clicked on over and saw that Sandra had posted some things I'd written about unschooling as it applies to my marriage. Ah, mystery solved.

But the really fun part is finding out how people discover your blog by accident. Now, if I see that a person hops on over to my blog from a Google or Yahoo search, I am eager to see what phrase they used in their search. The results are fascinating and more often hysterical.

Please note: If you are of the mind that blogging is dangerous, that 'putting it out there' invites unwanted scrutiny or voyeurism, stop reading. Because you're right.

I've begun keeping a list. I don't keep track of the obvious or mundane ones, like searches for 'Wistful Wanderlust', or 'unschooling', or 'piscesgrrl', or 'that amazing and cool grrl who blogs', because, like, duh.

I do, however, keep track of the ones that I don't quite understand. Or the ones that make me laugh so hard I snort earl grey up my nose. Or the ones that creep me out just a little bit and make me wonder if, indeed, it isn't time to hang up the old blog.

Here are just a few of the searches that led to clicks on my blog.

Some demonstrate the versatility of my blog as a resource:

"omelette man Florida" - It's good to know I can connect my readers to the best omelette in Florida. Dear Don, (May I call you Don?) - I'll take my kickbacks via paypal.

"blue or green benjamin moore colors for bathroom paint" - where my blog was 4th on the list. Dear Ben, Re: kickbacks - See above.

"wanderlust myth – in Arabic" - apparently I'm being translated into several different languages. Wait, did that say myth...

Some show the softer side of my readers:

"blogspot + My Reverie + Ponderings of My Heart + Gal" - Awww. My reverie. Ponderings of My Heart. Somebody, please, slap me if I write things like that. And please don't call me Gal. Or I might call you Shut Up.

Some don't make much sense at all:
"sheikra sit on flip flops" - Sheikra no sit on flip flops

"80's movie magical heart necklace scientist" - I'm not even sure what to think about this. I just hope they found what they were looking for, because it sounds like they have serious issues.

And some made me snort coffee up my nose:

"enormous piles of poop" - Listen, I have two sons, a husband, a dog and a cat. 'Nuff said.

"caustic potash dance move" - Oh ya, I had the moves in the 80's. Still do, if you must know.

"laura endres" - Oh h*ll, they're on to me...

And then there are some that are just plain scary:

"hot girls unleashed" - Mom, I swear, I have no idea.

"homemade shoe box bomb" - It wasn't a real bomb, people. No, you cannot find bomb-making instructions on my blog. It was a handmade birthday card. Sheesh.

And last but not least, there's this:

"inhaling chicken manure" – where I rank 1st on the list.

Dear Mom: I do always aim to make you proud.

It's The People

Ok, I think I'm ready to share more about the conference.

The highlight of the Live and Learn conference was meeting amazing people. It was such an open and welcoming environment, it was far easier than I expected to slip right into the existing community. I admit I was a bit leery of meeting everyone. Don't get me wrong - I'm a classic extrovert. But like I said before, I wasn't sure if people had filled in the blanks with the right information after only knowing me online. Will I be quieter or louder than they expected? Will we hit it off in real life like we do online? What if I'm a big, fat disappointment? And do these jeans make my butt look fat? Ok, nevermind on that last one, but it turns out that I was PPMSing (that would be PRE-pre-menstrual syndrome) during the conference, and that explains that little moment of temporary insanity. And that zit on my chin. But Silvia says I'm just as she imagined, so hang on a sec while I let out that breath I've been holding... ***whew***... k, better now.

Lesson - never underestimate the intuitive powers of unschoolers.

As I wandered through the registration area, I heard a little shout of "Oh my gosh - that's Laura!" And I turned to meet this amazing woman:

Kelli of "our joyful life" is a blogger, too, and she and her unschooling family recently moved to Georgia. Kelli always leaves the nicest comments on my and others blogs, and her love for her children is evident in her blog musings. I could tell immediately that if Kelli lived closer, we'd be hanging - yes, we would. She has just the right amount of energy, wit, sarcasm, and wisdom. And I got all that in the first few minutes of talking with her. Kelli, it was fantastic meeting you and I only wish we'd had time to talk more. Next time!

It was great to see Ren again, after our serendipitous meeting and chat at the InHome conference in the Chicago area last spring. Ren is full of life and has an intoxicating energy. And she can do costume make-up and art like nobody's business. She would be rip-roaring fun to hang out with too, if we didn't live so far apart. Dear Ren - can I interest you in a cornfield with a view? Bring Kelli.

And then there was Keti. Keti came as a blessing disguised as a problem. See, we both have kids who wanted to try school, Brady last year, and her daughter this year. We discussed it online before the conference and planned a meet-up at the conference so we could comiserate, share wisdom, and connect on this shared transition. We hit it off immediately and spent a lot of time together at the conference. Keti is one of those delightful, kind, comfortable people; I felt like I'd known her forever. That's just the kind of friendship I like! Later, we laughed that something that seemed so negative (kids in school) brought us something so positive - our new friendship! Yay for silver linings. Keti - do you like cornfields?

Another gift from the school discussion - Geri. Geri is another comfortable friend, the kind of person who, approximately 5.6 seconds after knowing you, invites you to not only visit, but STAY, in her DC-area home when you're, say, heading out for a field trip in, say, late October. Geri is the founder of Good News Network - when I realized that, I was very excited, as I know of that site and find it very impressive and inspiring. I very much enjoyed getting to know Geri, with the bonus being that our teenage boys formed a rock band with Cameron Lovejoy and performed at the talent show! Geri, I can't wait to see you next month! You are a good soul. I promise not to steal your silver when we come to visit. P.S. Anything about cornfields you find especially appealing?

Then, another real treat - I got to meet Scott-freakin-Noelle! I'd known of Scott for a long time. He moderated the online yahoo discussion group about The Continuum Concept. What, you haven't read that book you say? Then get cracking and do. And do not think I'm kidding when I say it will rock your world. It rocked mine - right out of mainstream life and into unschooling! Scott has since developed a career as a phenomenal parenting coach and writer and he recently published his new book, The Daily Groove, "a collection of brief, practical, inspirational messages designed to help parents transform 'the daily grind' of parenting into a satisfying, empowering, joyful adventure." Amen brutha! I bought his book at the conference, and it is so readable and user-friendly, its format being short essays that can be read individually, and its message so completely full of wisdom, that a friend snatched it up at our parkday gathering the first time I showed it. "I need this book," said my friend. I would take that a bit further and say that all parents need this book! Go visit Scott's website and get ye that book!

Scott was a ton of fun at the conference, and much to my surprise, he is a total nut! He can be witty and wise, deep and philosophical, and next thing you know, he's busting a move on the dance floor. It was a great pleasure to make his acquaintance. Dearest Scott - ever busted a move in a cornfield? There's room.

There are so many great folks to mention.

The St. Louis family, Curtis and Debbie, whom I met with my stock question of "Is this your first L&L conference? Mine too!" (I have a knack for spotting newbies.) Turns out they know friends of ours in St. Louis, which pretty much guarantees we'll see them again in the near future. It was great chatting with them. Oh, and Debbie can bust a move her own self. You go, grrrl! Debbie - come bust a move in our cornfield. With Scott Noelle. Curtis - ever considered juggling corncobs?

And there was the Canadian couple, Chris and Jess. I think we met them over dinner in the most challenging part of the conference cafeteria. (What kind of cruel joke is it to make unschoolers eat in a cafeteria?!) We didn't get as much time with them as we'd have liked, but Jonathan's always wanted to visit Canada so now we have another great reason to venture north! Or, you could just come down and join our commune in the cornfields. C'mon... Everyone's doing it!

And there were a whole bunch of conference divas I fell in love with. Madeline, on the left, is an adorable organic farmer. She has an infectious energy. I loved her immediately. Gail, in the center, is a Florida unschooler. I just realized, from Ren, that she has a blog. I will be visiting her - on her blog, and hopefully in person when we venture back to Florida next spring! (Gail - any karaoke in Florida? :-) And on the right is the conference diva of all conference divas, Kelly Lovejoy. Kelly is the amazing force behind this convergence of like minds. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know any of these amazing people. Kelly - you totally rock.

Dear divas - please move to my cornfield. Thanks.

And last, but certainly not least... there was this grrl:

Sweet Silvia. Isn't she cute? Silvia and I hit it off, right after I poked her in the arm during the tattoo funshop. But I didn't just poke her for no reason - I poked her because I'd been keeping an eye out for the blogger named Silvia with the cascading blond curls and the enormous smile, and suddenly, there she was, right in front of me. So I poked her. Silvia was one of my first blog readers and we've been conversing ever since. She's even more delightful than I expected - and let me tell you, I had grand expectations. She has an amazing aura about her, and you could just see how things were lighter in her presence. She's sweet and kind and friendly, and there's a special VIP location in my cornfield just for her. Dear Silvia - when you comin'?

There were others, but unfortunately I didn't get pictures with them. And while, yes, we unschool with and for our children, I couldn't help but think how lucky I am to have discovered this amazing community of free-thinkers, attached parents, and joy-seeking unschoolers. Thank you to everyone for making the conference experience so wonderful and for inspiring us to continue living this beautiful, unscripted life of living, learning, and loving together. Even if we're out here in the cornfields..... all.... alone.

So, how we gonna go about subdividing this here cornfield for y'all, hmmm?