Trail of Tears. Tears of Laughter, that is

I have a nifty little widget on my blog that tells me where my readers come from. Wait, that's not proper. Let's try again. I have a nifty little widget on my blog that tells me from where my readers come. Sounds stilted, yes, but it's proper. Less proper than 'from whence they come', but proper. You should practice proper grammar. And by you, I mean I.

Anyhoo, I don't pay much attention to the little widget, but on occasion something catches my eye and I hone in for a closer look. For example, one time I noticed people kept coming straight from Sandra Dodd's website to mine. So I clicked on over and saw that Sandra had posted some things I'd written about unschooling as it applies to my marriage. Ah, mystery solved.

But the really fun part is finding out how people discover your blog by accident. Now, if I see that a person hops on over to my blog from a Google or Yahoo search, I am eager to see what phrase they used in their search. The results are fascinating and more often hysterical.

Please note: If you are of the mind that blogging is dangerous, that 'putting it out there' invites unwanted scrutiny or voyeurism, stop reading. Because you're right.

I've begun keeping a list. I don't keep track of the obvious or mundane ones, like searches for 'Wistful Wanderlust', or 'unschooling', or 'piscesgrrl', or 'that amazing and cool grrl who blogs', because, like, duh.

I do, however, keep track of the ones that I don't quite understand. Or the ones that make me laugh so hard I snort earl grey up my nose. Or the ones that creep me out just a little bit and make me wonder if, indeed, it isn't time to hang up the old blog.

Here are just a few of the searches that led to clicks on my blog.

Some demonstrate the versatility of my blog as a resource:

"omelette man Florida" - It's good to know I can connect my readers to the best omelette in Florida. Dear Don, (May I call you Don?) - I'll take my kickbacks via paypal.

"blue or green benjamin moore colors for bathroom paint" - where my blog was 4th on the list. Dear Ben, Re: kickbacks - See above.

"wanderlust myth – in Arabic" - apparently I'm being translated into several different languages. Wait, did that say myth...

Some show the softer side of my readers:

"blogspot + My Reverie + Ponderings of My Heart + Gal" - Awww. My reverie. Ponderings of My Heart. Somebody, please, slap me if I write things like that. And please don't call me Gal. Or I might call you Shut Up.

Some don't make much sense at all:
"sheikra sit on flip flops" - Sheikra no sit on flip flops

"80's movie magical heart necklace scientist" - I'm not even sure what to think about this. I just hope they found what they were looking for, because it sounds like they have serious issues.

And some made me snort coffee up my nose:

"enormous piles of poop" - Listen, I have two sons, a husband, a dog and a cat. 'Nuff said.

"caustic potash dance move" - Oh ya, I had the moves in the 80's. Still do, if you must know.

"laura endres" - Oh h*ll, they're on to me...

And then there are some that are just plain scary:

"hot girls unleashed" - Mom, I swear, I have no idea.

"homemade shoe box bomb" - It wasn't a real bomb, people. No, you cannot find bomb-making instructions on my blog. It was a handmade birthday card. Sheesh.

And last but not least, there's this:

"inhaling chicken manure" – where I rank 1st on the list.

Dear Mom: I do always aim to make you proud.