Monday, September 28, 2009

Ten Things Overheard at Grandma's Birthday Party

1.
Grandma: "I'm an old lady now. That means I can't remember words."

2.
Mom: "That was a long time ago."
Grandma: "It wasn't THAT long ago, it was only like 30 years ago."

3.
Grandma, talking about a high school boyfriend: "He must've been gay. In two years the only time he touched me was when we were dancing."

4.
Grandma: "Back then we didn't say gay, you know. We just said he was 'different.'"

5.
Grandma, receiving a gift wrapped in a plastic bag: "Is this a dead chicken?"
Jackie, the gift giver: "Yes, as a matter of fact it is."

(Note: It WAS a dead chicken.)
(Yes way.)

6.
Grandma: "A dead chicken for an old hen!"

7.
Me to Grandma: "Here's MY gift. Dead beets."

8.
Grandma: "Dead beets from a bunch of deadbeats."

9.
Jackie doing a 5-minute impression of her horse after taking a big bite of a jalapeno plant in the garden.

10.
Aunt Susan: "You know what they say, if my boobs were any longer they'd be nuts."

and a bonus:

11.
Gordy: "I think football in the other room is calling. Please excuse me."

8 comments:

MamaTea said...

Hilarious! #10 is a gem.

Cousin Kathy said...

Hey cuz, this is unrelated, but there's a homeschool s***storm brewing over on Salon.com.

"Confessions of a Homeschooler" Check it out!

Reporting from the outside world,

Cousin Kathy

Kez said...

lol - Grandma sounds like a woman I'd like to meet :)

Chris said...

ROFLOL!!! Now THAT is a party! :O)

Chris

piscesgrrl said...

Hey cuzzin Kathy, I just heard! I've only read the first comments and am already wondering if it's worth continuing. Thx for the heads up. BTW, I've lost your email - computer crashed a few times. Send it along sometime. Hope all's well!

sgaissert said...

Wonderful! Thanks for the post.

Silvia said...

OMG the things I've missed recently! Can you bring Grandma to ARGH?

Anonymous said...

Your granny sounds a hoot!