Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I'm Ba-a-a-a-aaack

Photo: The company gave us (goofy) flip-flops!

Ahhhh, the post-vacation glow. The fluttering between worlds. The quickly-fading tan, the joy at seeing my kids (and being quite sure they grew 2-3 inches while I was gone), the oddity of seeing my house with 'new eyes' upon my return. It's an amazing thing, travel. It really feeds my soul.

It makes me appreciate all that is 'out there' that I know nothing about. It allows me to regroup and return to center so I'm ready again to re-enter my life. It gets me out of ruts, yanks me from the center of my universe (where small things can get unduly magnified), and gives me a break from daily tasks that wear me down after a while. It allows me to wander a new place feeling almost invisible, where defenses get let down and cares get tossed to the tide and I can breathe a little more deeply and RE-LAX.

But where to start? Curiously, I didn't feel like blogging right away. That's another lovely thing travel does for me, it breaks cycles of addiction. When I leave, I can't imagine going a week without checking on my favorite blogs, reading my email, writing for my favorite readers. But a few days into my trip, the desire lessens. Then I forget the computer world altogether for a while. And when I return, I have trouble with the transition, and I need to dip a toe back in, not cannon-ball back into the deep end. The pendulum that is me. Binge on blogging. Walk away. Return with a smug "when I'm good and ready."

Whenever I return from travel, I waver between the two worlds for a while and it's a rather curious place to be. I wake in the night not knowing where I am. I let my radio-alarm play for 15 minutes as my mind wonders where the music is coming from (until a swift kick to the shin from hubby wakes me fully). I wander the house wondering if I can employ the same Zen-like euphoric attitude toward housework that I applied toward sight-seeing during the previous week.

I ease back in.

I worry sometimes that it can seem off-putting to some. I don't feel like calling anyone upon my return, not even to announce my glee-filled return. I have little urge to gush the details. I am not ready to resume my varied roles. It feels like too much pressure after a week where "What should we do now?" was the most stressful thing I had to do.

I am repaid with a son who follows a similar pattern. We were home a good 45 minutes before he acknowledged our presence. When I asked, "Didn't you miss us?" he replied, "How could I when you sent me 3 text messages a day?" and I quickly realized that I was imposing the very pressure of expectation that I resist upon my return. And I changed course quickly. And I hugged him. And I told him it was so very good to be home with him again. And I let him be.

And he emerged a short while later to be with us.

The boys had their own 'other world' to slowly transition from, one filled with visits with grandparents, dinners with relatives, trips downstate to cheer on a volleyball team, and gatherings with friends. They need their time-between-both-worlds too. Time to revel in the pampering that is grandparent-time before returning to my more frenetic pace.

So for now I busy myself with exercise (to work off the amazing Florida food), playing scrabble in the river-side park with Jonathan, laundry, and reveling in the post-trip aura of memories. And I ponder my re-entry by debating whether or not to include swimsuit-clad photos in my kodak gallery, laughing over the PG-13 rated photos we were glad we saw (and deleted!) before others did, and musing upon what to share and just how to jump back into the blogosphere.

I had a lovely time away. It's lovely to be back. It's lovely to see you all again.



K. said...

Glad you're back, you were missed! And this coming from a girl who joined NaNoWriMo and spent so much time procrastinating by writing blog entries that she went ahead and joined NaBloPoMo as well. And now she (meaning me) can hardly remember her own name (and apparently talks in the third person, how annoying), let alone all of the blogs that she's supposed to be networking with right now. But yours? Was still missed. There was a hole in the world where your "voice" should be. Glad you're back, take your time easing in.

piscesgrrl said...

Wow, k. That was such a lovely thing to hear upon my return. (blush) Thx for making me feel *heard*. And wow, too, that you're writing so much! Which I knew, BTW, because your blog was one of my first revisits upon my re-entry into blogland. :)

I can't wait to hear how the NaNoWriMo goes! I considered it for about a nano-second, but thus far I don't consider myself a fiction writer. I can never remember what it stands for, though reading it as is it sounds like just what I might utter in response to a suggestion that I write a novel - "Nah, no wri' mo righ' now." LOL

Thx for the welcome back - *hugs*

Stephanie said...

Glad to see you back, it sounds like you had a nice time and it was just what you needed.
Welcome back to cyberworld too :)

gemma said...

I love your response to NaNoWriMo. November is one tough month to lock yourself in a room and churn out a novel. Your post vacation post is just glowing. Makes me think I need to get out of dodge!